Do you ever look at two people hopelessly in love and feel… repulsed?
That’s how I sometimes feel as a person in love. It’s ten times worse when you’re the lonely person out of love. I’ve been there, too.
A few weeks ago on a five-hour flight, I sat next to a man in his fifties with pretentious being his main personality trait. Just some foreword: I despise airplane conversation. Not a fan. It’s like a never-ending elevator ride. I hate it so much that sometimes when my phone dies, I keep my headphones in and occasionally bop my head to keep up the elusion that I’m listening to music. Works like a charm… usually.
Well, this guy insisted on taking the pleasantries further than necessary of course. After about an hour, the conversation turned to careers, as it always does. I told him I was a part-time wedding photographer, and he literally scoffed. Scoffed! I thought that was a term I just read in books. He said, “Well, you must be in love.” Having never previously seen this as a bad thing, I said, “Yesss, I am.”
“No one else would enjoy that job,” he replied, condescendingly. I said, “Haha, yeah,” because I’m awkward. But in my head I said, “Okay. Cool. Bye.” Then disappeared into my seat, Homer Simpson style.
But it made me think, “Why can’t we be bigger fans of other peoples love? Is ours just the most important love because it’s happening to us?"
I don’t want to believe that we are really that selfish.
This guy was wearing a wedding ring, so was he just bitter he’d chosen the wrong mate? It’s not like I’m taking off on a sudden crusade to shout my love for my favorite people from rooftops, but I don’t think being a fan of love should ever be scoffed. And honestly, there are worse crusades to go on.
I didn’t grow up in an overly-abundant loving household where we spoke our feelings or held hands and sang kumbaya. My sister and I hugged during tragedies and now during hellos and goodbyes because we live far apart. But any other time, it was a why are you touching me kind of situation. I wasn’t in relationships where saying “I love you” daily was important. Now I say it at least five times a day to my super cool boyfriend and even to a few lucky friends. It's a work in progress.
Have you ever figured out your love language? Broc’s is words of affirmation, which means he gets giddy when I tell him I’m proud of him, he’s doing a good job, and l love him I love him I love him. This is easy because I am, he is, and I do I do I do. Mine is acts of service, so once a month when I’m curled in a ball flirting with hell, Broc comes home bearing endless supplies of chocolate, and stars shoot out of my eyes. It’s the little things.
I think it’s important to honor and celebrate the relationships and the love that we’re experiencing. To figure out how your person needs to be loved and to never stop finding new ways to give it to them. I love love. Even without my own personal investment, I’d still be a big fan of people finding love… Even without that turd of a human being scoffing at me. Maybe this is the right job for me because at the end of the day I just enjoy seeing humans treat each other nicely? Call me crazy.