In January of 2013, I lost one of my best friends to Cystic Fibrosis. Four months later, on my twenty-first birthday, I lost my twenty-two year-old cousin, Nicholas, in a car accident to a distracted driver. In 2014, I shattered my tibia plateau, tore some vital knee things and had to get emergency surgery. Throw in a break up and it’s safe to say it was a pretty terrible period of time for me. When it rains, it hurricanes.

With all of these things happening, I was feeling down and partying was a welcome distraction. I was on crutches for two months after my surgery and rehab was a slow, grueling process. Honestly, when I was cleared for exercise again my heart wasn’t in it. I could feel the metal in my leg and it was yucky. Pizza and beer > working out.

This combination of events was awful for basically every aspect of my life, and I started gaining weight. Although Smash Mouth was referring to years, I think the same can be said about extra pounds - when they just start coming, they don’t stop coming.

I was unhappy. I couldn’t fit into any of my clothes and I despised seeing photos of myself. I was so... puffy? In November of 2015, I had another surgery removing the metal plate from my leg and the number on the scale was creeping up to an all time high of 180lbs. The heaviest I had ever weighed in my life. I knew it was time to start making some changes.

Carb free diets ensued. That didn’t work. I dabbled with high protein diets. Liquids only. STRICTLY VEGAN. I committed to working out twice a day… for about two weeks. I was frustrated that I was putting in effort but nothing was changing. I was impatiently trying to erase years of damage with a few days of work.

I’ve always played sports and been muscular and when I am at my fittest (now) I am around 135lbs. In my head, the perfect goal weight was always the 120lbs mark, which is pretty unattainable for me and my 5’7 height. I would have to probably stop moving altogether and be fed through a tube to lose all my muscle mass and honestly that doesn’t sound too great.

The last time I saw a number under 130 on the scale was before high school (not counting that one ridiculous summer when my bestie and I went through a phase of restricting ourselves to 1,000 calories a day.) Now that I’m a little more mature, I know that the number on the scale doesn’t matter. I take comfort in the fact that I can lift heavy things, do a series of push ups, and defend myself from creepers. These days, I measure my progress with side-by-side photos and how my clothes fit.

The two life-changing things that stuck for me were cutting meat from my diet and BBG. I’ve followed a pescetarian diet for over five years and I’ve been through Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Girl 12 week program three times now. I stayed consistent with both and I started seeing results. I became a lot happier in my own body (which was helpful because it’s is the only one I have) and all the good things just started to fall into place.

If you have any questions about either hollllaaa at yo girl. I’ll share another blog post of my five biggest tips and more details on what I (should) eat on the reg. Stay tuned!